I have something to say. The deadline for kindergarten in the state of Texas is September 1st. Mason's birthday is August 20th, he turned 5, made the deadline and I put him in kindergarten. I did it this past September against the advice of many others. I even talked to kindergarten teachers who told me that kids with summer birthdays just don't do well. So why is the deadline September 1st if all kids with summer birthdays should not be enrolled? Initially I had Mason all signed up at a preschool and wasn't going to send him to kindergarten because of the many voices telling me that he wouldn't suceed. One night as I was going to bed, I got a strong impression that he should go to kindergarten. I followed the impression and he started in the fall. Well he is doing great! His teacher tells me that he is a "normal" kindergartner, and that he is right where he's supposed to be. Well unfortunately because so many families hold their boys back for whatever reason, right where he's supposed to be is where everyone else was in November. So people are holding their kids back to be bigger for sports or smarter or whatever, and now Mason who is doing just as he should, is behind. I am so frustrated with the system down here. Is it like this everywhere? The teacher says that times have changed and expectations are higher, so she's worried that he won't catch up. Well this just means that holding kids back is such a common practice, that kids can do more as they enter Kindergarten because they are 6 already! Of course they can do more. Riley (in second grade) has a friend in her class with the same birthday. Well her friend is turning 9 while Riley is turning 8. So what about the young ones? Will Mason ever catch up or will he be labeled the slow one? So now I'm faced with the decision to keep him in kindergarten, not because he has failed, but because everyone else happens to be ahead simply because they are older. I almost wish he just doesn't pass the requirements, so the decision would be easier.
I don't want to hold him back, so that he'll have a better chance at sports or so that it will be easier for him. I actually don't mind if my children struggle a little and learn how to work hard to achieve something. However, I don't want him to be at a great disadvantage or labeled the class idiot just because he's young. Is anyone else dealing with this issue? Just curious. I'll seek the same guidance that I sought last year when I put him in, but it is so frustrating to have to make these decisions simply because everybody else is doing something else. I'm not saying that no kids should ever be held back for any reason, but shouldn't it be based on individual kids just a little more than on a common practice? There I'm done ranting and raving for now.
12 comments:
Bah. Your ranting makes me want to rant about it. I think it is stupid the average age of kindergardeners has increased because of sports and peer pressure.
Hopefully you will get another inspiration on what to do now.
I'm so sorry! Kansas is like that too. I think it is ridiculus. I worried a lot about Taylor because his birthday was in March, and honestly he stuggled in kindergarten and first grade with reading. It's hard to compete with kids who are nine months older than you. His reading skills caught up in second and third grade though, and now he is doing great with reading and is on book five of the Harry Potter series. I think he's struggled a little because of being just a little younger, but we tried not to make him think he wasn't doing as well as some of the other kids. We didn't want him to get a complex. He did attend a special after school program during first grade, and attended summer school after first grade which brought him up to speed. Having a little extra help made up for the age difference, and now it's not really an issue. Good luck.
I hear ya--same dilemma here in Georgia. Having two boys and two girls, I think boys just take a little more time in the beginning to learn and grasp stuff. But in a year or two, I think your boy will be ahead of several others. My boy in in kindergarten too (turned 6 last month) and he's just barely starting to read, but his sisters were reading much earlier at his age. I think boys will get caught up eventually, whether they repeat a grade or not. I worry about the socialness--like is he going to have a complex about being held back when he's in middle school?
Anyway, you have a tough decision. I don't envy you, but I'm very curious how it will turn out, since my baby boy has a late July birthday, and I've already wondered if I should delay him to start kindergarten a year later. Hmmmmm.
Somedays I'd just rather homeschool--but then after about one hour I'd probably send them all back to public school anyway!
I am dealing with the same thing with Talon. The deadline is Dec 1st and he is October 28th. I am not going to keep him out of kindergarten either. I am anxious to see how he does. On the other hand, Gage is June birthday and I help in his class and he is above average. I agree with you it depends on the kid. I think of it this way, they will be younger when they graduate and can go to a year of college before their mission.
I've seen so many debates about this subject. My boys are only 3, but their birthday is August 23rd so we'll be in the same position when it's time for them to start school. I'll make the decision based on THEIR readiness. (mostly their readiness to leave me! lol) It's so sad and ridiculous to me that other people base their decision on giving their child an "edge" by being older, bigger, etc. Good luck to you AND to Mason. I'm sure it's so frustrating! Maybe your experience will aid me in making my decision two years from now. :D
Yeah right are you're done...I'm sure we will rant about it again. All I have to say is SING IT SISTER!!! I couldn't agree more!!
It worked. Your secret identity is gone, and all has been revealed. But for some reason, mine is messed up. Looks like I don't even have a blog!
As to this post, I was going to comment sooner, but I wanted to wait and see what other reactions there were. I'm wondering if some of the reason why people are holding back kids is also because it's full day and a whole lot more academic. I don't know if they can really put those expectations on 5 year olds since their cognitive development is all over the map. It's hard for boys to succeed in an environment where they have to be sitting in a desk working quietly or standing in line and NOT TALKING at lunch! The horror! How dare those kids.
With Mason, just a few questions to consider- How long are you planning on staying in TX?
Is he doing well in some areas (like Math) but not in others (like reading)?
How is he doing socially?
Do you feel like he's been happy in Kindergarten?
If there's one grade I wouldn't have minded repeating, it's Kindergarten. That's the fun year. Not to say you should do it, of course. He seems great to me, although I would probably be in the same place you are if it were my child.
Josh is an august boy, and we started him on time, despite all the people telling me not to. He was ready. He's in first grade now and doing GREAT. He is small, for his age and for his grade, but that is okay. We have the same issue -- hold them back for SPORTS and to be older, but I like the idea of them having a year of college before missions. (many parents DON'T want that -- they want them to go straight from high school to mission). good luck
Oooh, this is a hot topic for me, too! Both Cameron and Emily have early July birthdays and I've sent them both when they were 5. No problem for Emily because she was only in 1/2 day kindergarten in RI. Then we moved here right before Cameron was starting. He's overcome verbal apraxia (speech disorder) and I really wondered what to do. It's full day K here. We put him in when 5 and he is a little behind the other kids, but many of them are a FULL year older than him. It is so frustrating!
Obviously, it depends on the individual child, but I seem to be going against status quo here in NC and putting them in at 5. Dillon is a January birthday and it seems strange to me that he will be a whole 5 1/2 entering kindergarten!
Best wishes with the decision. Thank goodness for personal revelation.
I have been there with three of my kids. Brandon's (11) birthday is August 30 (off topic, he was born the night that Princess Di died, and yes I know she died the 31st), and the 31st is the cut off date. He attended 2 years of preschool and the preschool teachers said that he would be bored if he didn't go to kindergarten and that he was really ready. He wasn't ahead like the next door neighbor's son or other members in our ward who were red-shirted (they put their kids in the Mesa school district kindergarten and then the next year they went to their own KG). But he was grade appropriate. Now he's in 6th grade and is in ALP (advanced learning program).
I've read about how most kids whether they were red-shirted or put in as a young student and *most* kids end up being equal at about 3rd grade.
Riley is a July birthday. He is in 3rd grade now and he has always been grade appropriate.
Emily is a June birthday and as she is in 1st grade I can't quite tell, but she seems grade appropriate too.
Don't worry too much about it. School districts have to have a cut off date. Its just a date. Judge him by what he can do, not by what others can. Is he doing what a KGner should do? You can always give him extra help at home, in your *spare* time.
Aren't you a teacher?
We've talked about this. I don't want to hold Spencer back because it seems like a wasted year, especially when college and mission time comes. And I think that most Texas teachers recommend holding back as protocol because everyone here does it. Spencer is doing jr. kindergarten next year so we can delay the decision. If we aren't in Texas in a year, chances are, I'll put in him 1st grade. It's a tough decision. There are good arguments on both sides. You'll figure it out. This topic stressing me out. I'd better put it out of my mind, so I can sleep...
It is like that here in Va too. Jackson just hit the benchmark that he should of hit in Nov. We will most likely hold him back because he just does not know all his letter and sound automatically. Which for him will effect his reading in 1st. They actually said he was young at the meeting. His birthday is in April. Around here sports is some of it but more it is to look academically advanced. SO the rest of our kids look low to average. Being a teacher in the system I know what he has to do in 1st and I agree with the teacher that he is not ready for that.
I will give you my teacher 2 cents. YOu need to not compare him to the other kids but to the benchmarks set by the district. If he has the basic skills it does not matter if he is not the top student. YOu just want to make sure he has the skills he needs for 1st. It is not terrible to work hard to get where you need to be but you do not want him to struggle so much that he just slips further and further behind. And for some kids it just clicks one day. I see that all the time.
It is hard I feel bad all the time. I am a teacher why is my kids struggling. He loves school, tries hard but just does not get it yet. I knew this in Aug but still sent him ---I just thought it would all come together and it has not.
I will contact you off the blog and take a look at his scores and give you my opinion for what that is worth.
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